Don’t see “Slumdog Millionaire”. It sucks!

DISCOVER THE DIAMOND IN YOUR CHILD!

–for both parents and teachers!

_By Arindam Chaudhuri_

This was an article I had written two years back when my son was giving his tenth boards.. and I wanted to share it again with all of you!! Of course nothing much has changed but for the dates (so I haven't edited the article). Right now he is giving his 12th boards and everything is still the same .. yesterday night only for an hour he was explaining me about the latest of episode of Sherlock that he watched the day before - before his maths exam / and why it was thrilling.. in fact this time he broke all records... The entire month before his exams he was writing a book.. on "Superheroes" and life lessons they give us and 4 days before his first board exam he was in Mumbai for the launch of his second book- Discover The Superhero in You!!

You can buy the book at https://www.amazon.in/gp/aw/s/ref=nb_sb_noss...

Anyways here's the article::

DISCOVER THE DIAMOND IN YOUR CHILD!

–for both parents and teachers!

_By Arindam Chaudhuri_

_*MY SON, CHE KABIR, WILL BE GIVING HIS TENTH ICSE BOARDS NEXT MONTH! AND I NEVER ASK HIM WHAT HE IS STUDYING. ALL WE DISCUSS AT THE END OF THE DAY IS WHICH MOVIE HE WATCHED TODAY - HE HAS A LIST OF THE WORLD'S GREATEST MOVIES, ONE OF WHICH HE WATCHES DAILY SOMETIME IN THE DAY/NIGHT.*_

Yes that's true. I don't talk to my son about his exams or studies. And that's not because I think studies or exams are useless but I believe it's learning and what stays back with you for life that is more important than marks. And if he has learnt throughout the year that's the only thing that will stay with him. If he mugs up before the exams and gets good marks, that would be worthless because after his exams that would be forgotten.

The real test of parenting and our role as teachers lies in the real knowledge we have imparted to our children and how it's helping them *become better human beings, and not in how they perform in the annual exams.* Therefore, as a teacher and parent, my role has been to initiate him towards the quest for knowledge and leave him free to become competitive of his own volition.

This, of course, is not unique to me. Though my father wasn't this liberal, but I grew up in a home where there was no pressure to study. From childhood I was told I should try to be good in English and Maths and rest whatever I liked. So, while my friends were going crazy studying for good marks in school, I was enjoying my life. My pocket money depended on the number of pages of literature I read daily, and I used to get 10 paise per page from class 5 onwards. When I passed out of school in 1989, that had gradually increased to a princely sum of 25 paise per page. If I had my birthday coming up and I had to plan for the treat, I had to read as many extra pages in the months before my birthday.

The only test that used to be taken at home was on what I have read, but since my dad would see me reading most often, he didn't suspect that I was lying about the number of pages I read. *So I grew up getting very average marks in school and reading more literature than any other student in my school.*

While my closest friends were scholar badge and scholar coat holders (in DPS they used to get blue coats while the rest of us used to wear green coats), I used to stand without any complex in between them, knowing in the heart of my heart that I was superior to them in terms of my learnings about life.

Yes meanwhile I tried to do as good as I could in English and Maths. English was automatically good due to my excessive reading habits (which was mostly in English or Bangla) and Maths was very good as long as we were taught practically important and interesting stuff like compound interest, statistics etc. which i could relate to. It became average the moment it went into differentiation and integration etc., stuff that I could hardly relate to. And I have no sorrow because I think my brain became quite sharp doing what I enjoyed. And I think that was the result of exceptional parenting by my parents.

In school, I wanted to become an author, a film director and even cricket player and never a teacher. And then IIPM happened. After my 12th, I wanted to go abroad to study and my dad insisted I first study at IIPM and then I could do whatever I wanted. So I joined IIPM. The rest, as they say, is history.

A week after our classes started in IIPM, I distinctly remember that in our executive communication class we were given the topic, "What I want to become when in life", to speak upon. And while all my friends said they wanted to become entrepreneurs or top managers or CEOs etc., I said I wanted to see myself on the other side of the classroom as a teacher.

That was the impact just the first week's classes at IIPM had on my life. From a boy who was never interested in studies and had scant respect for teachers or their profession, given all they could inculcate in my 13 years of school, was contempt for studies and a dreaded feeling towards going to school by trying to force upon me various subjects without being able to get me involved and excited about it; at IIPM for the first time I had seen teachers who knew how to teach. Instead of being sleeping pills, they were like movie stars who would never force anything upon me.

With exceptional communication skills and practical examples and experiential learning, they got us all involved. The worst student started becoming good because he could relate to what was being taught in the class.

Yes, that's the role of a great teacher. *When a teacher speaks the student has to get mesmerised. When a teacher speaks the student has to automatically feel like listening to her or him* instead of chatting with his friend or playing video games etc. *_A student doesn't come to class to study. Mostly he comes as a routine. And he will follow his natural instinct, i.e., to chat with the other student sitting next to him or play a video game._*

And if he does that he is not doing anything wrong. After I took over IIPM, *any teacher who would come and complain to me that students were indisciplined would get fired*. To me that meant he didn't know how to teach and arouse the interest of the students in his class. Students to me are never bad, it's we teachers or parents who are bad.

*Students are never supposed to be interested in studies*... it's our job to make them interested. And that's possible only when we encourage them to find out for themselves what they are passionate about and then let them follow their passions.

Luckily for my son, he studies in a school, Sri Ram, where there was zero pressure to study till he was in Class 8, his most important formative years. Actually, the school reminded me of my childhood in a way.

Once when he was in Class 3, I went to his classroom and saw a chart on the wall. The chart had names of all the children in the class and in front of that were written the names of the story books they had read at home. And the list would be regularly updated.

That brings me back to where I started off from. Yes, I have never asked my son to study. *During his first five years of life I only taught him one thing. Love is more important than things. And made him appreciate the value of the love he gets from all his elders.* He grew up never asking for gifts or actually getting any from me, except for one on his birthdays.

That day he was allowed to keep five more gifts from all the gifts he received and go and donate the rest to the less fortunate kids in the slums. After the lesson of love and valuing love was well inculcated, *I have spent a lot of time with him as he grew up, and explained to him through various discussions the importance of education and knowledge and the importance of finding out and doing what he enjoyed most.*

We have had discussions on how in life the only edge we can have over others is our knowledge. The only security we can have is knowledge. The only thing that would enable us to become better citizens and human beings is knowledge. The only way we would live a happier life and know the real meaning of happiness is by reading more and more. We have had discussions on the importance of eating healthy, staying fit, sleeping enough and playing games. And on the importance of being tolerant and loving. We have discussed on why we need to respect women and their independence like that of every human being. We have discussed on the importance of fighting for only one thing in life - economic and social equality of human beings. And having empathy for those marginalised by the society till he can do something for them. And to respect human beings irrespective of their looks or color of skin based on birth; Or stupid and irrational man made separators like caste, nationality or religion. For each of our discussions I have given him good reading materials, research links from various studies so that he could understand the real meaning of our discussions.

I have done it for 16 years of his life. In psychology I was taught at IIPM, that *human beings can't be changed after the age of 14* and any change that occurs has to be through an internal decision to change their already formed life scripts. And I have done my bit for two extra years. Now it's the time to see the results.

See if he values education and learning. And if he studies subjects because he enjoys them without any pressures. And if from here in he becomes a loving, compassionate and happy human being. Yes he knows in our system there are many things we don't get to choose. Like the subjects in class tenth *_(unlike for example in Finland where they have started a system that from the age of 16 onwards there will be no subjects in school. Everything, from English to math to history to economics in schools will be taught in the form of discussions from history and what's happening around and these subjects would be woven in between those discussions to help students choose whatever they like)._* So he has to study them and try to do as well as he can by trying to understand them.

I never kept tutors for him. But told him he should let us know when he needs one to enhance his understanding of the subject. Last year he said he needed one in math. A couple of months back he said he needed one for physics and chemistry.

He got himself tutors accordingly. He has been studying on his own. And whenever he feels bored he takes a break and completes a film from his list. He has no timings for studies or getting up during these preparatory holidays of his. There is no one after him asking him to study.

Through this routine of his he scored 80 precent in his pre-boards (during his pre boards during exam breaks he was writing a book on lessons from superheroes btw) and I believe he will do reasonably well in boards. Whatever is his percentage 90, 80, 70 or 60... I will proudly share with everyone because I am absolutely sure whatever he gets will be based on a learning for life through his own free will. And it will stay with him.

I know it is late for many other parents to do the same if their child is in 10th or 12th and the exams are around the corner. But if your child or student is younger, please spend time with him/her discussing about life... in making him enjoy the process of learning... in giving him great researches and books to read that make him a better human being... *spend time with him so that he can look upto you and learn from the values you appreciate in life*... and leave him free as far as school exams are concerned. *There is no direct correlation between school results and greatness. But there is a direct correlation between chasing their own passions and living a happy life.*

And that my dear parents and teachers is the aim of life and education. As parents and teachers we have on the whole miserably failed our children. Let's now start making them happy.

*As my father's motto for school education goes, "Let's finally give back childhood to our children", and discover the diamond in every child around us!*

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